First thing you should know about me: I hate burgers. I hate ground beef, I hate ketchup, I hate American cheese, I hate mustard. There is nothing about a traditional burger that I like—and before you protest BUT BEE. THERE ARE GOURMET BURGERS. THERE ARE NONTRADITIONAL BURGERS. HOW CAN YOU BLANKET HATE BURGERS? ARE YOU EVEN AMERICAN?
It’s the texture. It’s just. Bleh. I don’t like anything that has ground beef in it—meatballs, spaghetti sauce (don’t even get me started on spaghetti sauce), tacos (but I do love all other iterations of taco), stuffed peppers. Seriously, just fuck ground beef.
But ground turkey? That, I can get down with. It doesn’t have that weird crumbliness of ground beef. When you cook it, it gets more cohesive. To be fair, I have to add a bunch of things to it to break up the vague ground texture, but I not only can stomach it, I actively like it. I even like it enough to try eating it without cheese (because what better way to hide a food you don’t like much than by smothering it in cheese) and a bun, so that’s what I did.
Several months ago, like a crazed meat hoarder, I picked up 3 lbs of ground turkey on sale for like, $5, which is an insane deal. So that’s been in my freezer since probably September, just waiting for the perfect moment for me to need 20 turkey burgers. Whole30 time is a great time to have 20 ready-to-go meals in your freezer, so I defrosted it, and then went hog wild making turkey burgers. They were so good. And they smelled so good while I was making them. So fresh! They would be awesome, too, with a pico de gallo instead of just a tomato slice, or a corn and black bean pico if you can have corn and black beans.
Honestly, though, despite all of the things it would be great with, this is one of the best things I’ve made so far on Whole30. I’m feeling good, I’m feeling prepared, and everyone’s right—the diet really only does get easier. So if you’re out there, reading this and trying to get inspired for your Whole30, you should definitely commit to it because I feel great and hopefully, SO WILL YOU.
And now, the recipe.
Bee’s Baller Turkey Burgers
The method for cooking these might seem strange. It is a little strange. It was actually not my intended method, but then it worked out this way, and they came out BAMF. So trust me. Unless you make turkey burgers all the time and have your own method, you should def try this. Up until THIS DAY, my turkey burgers always fell apart. BUT THESE WERE PERFECT. Honestly, salivating rn. Also, sidenote, I gave modest measurements for the spices, but I tend to be very heavy handed with cumin, so feel free to go crazy.
I ate these with a slice of tomato, and 1/4 of a mashed avocado. I ate them in a RED CABBAGE LEAF (and Boyfriend ate them in collard greens, as pictured above) because we don’t use boring old lettuce for lettuce wraps in this house. Also because we can never find the right lettuce in the grocery.
1 onion, quartered
2 jalapenos, seeded or unseeded (I seeded one, kept the seeds in the other. Perfect amount of kick for me)
4 oz mushrooms (about half a standard carton)
3 lbs ground turkey
1/4 cup sunflower seeds (or pumpkin seeds or almonds or almond flour. whatever)
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tbsp cumin
1 tbsp garlic powder
2 tbsp chili powder
- Preheat oven to 350F.
- Place the onion quarters, jalapenos, and mushrooms in a food processer, and pulse until chopped fine. Mix with the ground turkey until well incorporated. You don’t have to use a food processer, but it makes it so much easier, and it also chops it smaller.
- Place the seed/nut you chose in the food processer and pulse until fine (or don’t, if you’re using almond flour). Mix in with the turkey.
- Add spices and mix in. Add the two eggs and mix.
- Here comes the weird part. Form the patties and place on a greased (and lined, if you want) cookie sheet. I made 20 patties, but feel free to make them as big or as small as you want. Might be nice as meatballs if you are a meatball person. Bake for 12-15 minutes, until they have basically oozed out all the fat.
- THEN, take out of the oven, and sear quickly in a hot frying pan on either side, making sure to get rid of the clingy fat pools.
So good, even the cat was interested.